Risk Reduction

For Females:

  • Know your limits.  Believe in your right to set limits.  If there are any questions, stop and talk about it.
  • Communicate your limits clearly.  If your date starts to offend you, tell them quickly, firmly, and clearly.  Polite approaches may be ignored or misunderstood.  Say “no” when you mean “no.”
  • Talk with each other.  Communication is key in a healthy relationship.  Don’t assume your date will know how you feel or will eventually “get the message.”
  • Be aware of your date’s actions.  Pay attention to behaviors that aren’t respectful of you.  Even simple things—like put downs, making all of the decisions, or constantly teasing you—may mean he doesn’t respect your decisions or boundaries.
  • Make a scene if you feel threatened.  Trust your intuition.  If you feel you are being pressured into unwanted sex, say so.  State your feelings and get out of the situation if possible.  Don’t worry about a few minutes of embarrassment or awkwardness.  They will pass.
  • Stick with friends you trust.  Agree to look out for one another at parties or get-togethers.  Use the “buddy system” to check in with friends.
  • Avoid using alcohol or other drugs.  They interfere with your ability to think, act, or communicate clearly.

For Males:

  • Know your limits.  Be aware of social and peer pressures.  It’s okay not to “score.”
  • Believe what you are hearing.  “No” means “no.”  Don’t read other meanings into it.  If you feel your date is hesitant or giving you “mixed messages,” stop and talk.
  • Talk with each other.  Communication is key in a healthy relationship.  Don’t assume your date will know how you feel or will eventually “get the message.”
  • Don’t take “no” as a personal rejection or insult.  Saying no is not rejecting you.  Instead, she is rejecting the action.  It is saying she does not want to go further at that time.  Respect her boundaries and decisions.
  • Don’t make assumptions about another person’s behavior.  Do not assume she wants to have sex because she is dressed a certain way or agrees to go to your room.  Just because she wants or likes to kiss doesn’t mean she wants to go further.  Listen to what she is telling you—verbally and non-verbally.
  • Get involved if you believe someone is at risk.  Don’t be afraid to step in or speak out if you think someone is being pressured or forced to go further than they want.
  • Avoid using alcohol or other drugs.  They interfere with your ability to think, act, or communicate clearly.